There does not need to be any shame involved for a person who feels the need to find a spouse online. Plenty of normal people use this method for finding dates and future spouses. Talk to others who have been successful with online dating for helpful dating tips for women over 40. It should not be hard to find others who have been where you are. I was encouraged to not give up because I knew people who were successful in their online dating.
When you choose your user name, try to be creative. You want the men to stop when they see your name rather than simply pass you by with all the other common names.
Respond warmly to the good prospects. Tell her what you liked about her response and why you think the two of you might make a good match. Ask her any pertinent questions and make sure to answer any questions she asks.
Set Up Dates ASAP: First, chatting online is an incredibly lame experience, like we said, we aren't looking for a pen pal. Second, the initial contact is when the attraction is strongest so you want to build off that momentum instead of letting her find a reason to not meet you based on some off handed message. Third, a lot of the girls on these sites, especially the free sites, don't want to meet anyone so you don't want to spend all that time trying to build attraction with a girl who never had any intentions of meeting you. Most importantly, dating and attraction is something that is completely different in person than online, make the experience as real as possible for both of you.
It's amazing to me how many people I've met, and even some of my own closest friends, who are a bit....let's just say, LESS than totally straightforward with their dating profiles. In my view, one of BEST signs that someone is really ready to settle down, is their ability to genuinely communicate who they are, what they want, and what they're looking for.....warts, flaws and frailties included. (We all have them, right?) Why put a picture of yourself from 2002, or list yourself at the weight you'd LIKE to be back to....or even your height with 2 inch tuxedo heels? Being honest is very sexy, and in my opinion, is the baseline from which lots of other special stuff springs forward, too.
Be careful of much younger women contacting you out of the blue. If you didn't initiate the contact with younger females, be ultra careful. They could be out to scam a sugar-daddy!